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My life, quite literally, started to change from that point onwards. I’ve started to hear the comments I was receiving from people: ‘Oh, your tights might leave me blind.’. ‘You just love being outrageous, don’t you?!’. ‘That’s not makeup, that’s a full on mask. You know we are just going to a bar for some drinks, not performing on stage?!’, ‘I think that deep down you are just a pigeon dressed in a costume of a parrot.’. ‘Are you part of the Cabaret act?’ and many more…

Don’t get me wrong, there were a tonne of positive comments too in the vein of inspirational and daring, in a brave sort of way. And the moral of the story is not at all that those negative or snarky remarks somehow made me upset. On the contrary. From my studies of psychology I always knew that when we cannot control the environment, we can always control our response and reaction to it. So, I wasn’t upset or lifted up by the comments but I’ve realised that there was an interesting common thread.  

Previously, I didn’t evaluate the information from the outside properly, aka feedback, as I was on some sort of color explosion mission. It’s like you are in a foreign country, people are speaking their language but you don’t understand. Some are smiling, some look like they are judging you and some don’t even see you. Then you learn a few words and suddenly, two things happen. You start seeing/hearing it everywhere and you start to understand what these looks mean, a little better.

The moral of the story is that I’ve started hearing.

This leads me nicely on to sharing about my deep understanding of the power of the first impressions! I’ve arrived at a different perspective, where it was a matter of understanding that we live in a society and we want and need to be a part of a ‘group’; be that your circle of friends, be that colleagues at work, be that your religious/spiritual practices… And as everything changes, because it constantly does, your personality morphs. You develop and grow and your ‘groups’ morph. You swim in and out of the different mini societies we create for ourselves, where we feel we belong to the most at that particular moment.

The common thread was the first impression I was making, and interestingly, they stuck. Even if I was in a muted outfit, with no make up, there was still an expectation of me to be outrageous by those who have previously met me. We are all different people, with a different set of experiences and so the same thing is interpreted differently, hence both the negative and the positive comments. So, what was the first impression I was making? And perhaps, more importantly, how was it serving me?

My style needed to change to express the person I was becoming and to serve my goals!

This has led me to look up a few things in the psychology books, to try to understand some of the human basic needs and instincts. My discoveries, in short: we are a herd animal and first impressions are essential to help us belong, to survive and claim our spot in the ‘group’.

A slightly longer explanation: as an animal we don’t have fangs or claws or super speed or wings, so essentially we are quite weak. If we encounter a predator in the wild, we don’t stand a chance. But we do have an all mighty and powerful brain, which has allowed us to construct ways to survive. Examples of this is building a shelter – caves, houses; using fire – for warmth, cooking and protection, developing tools – to hunt, farm, transport etc. And accomplish any of those tasks we can only do as a collective.

Did you know that if a person was excluded from a tribe, isolated, thrown out, that this has meant their certain death?! And did you know that it is so deeply wired in us that to this day, the greatest punishment, for example in prison, is isolation?! And did you know that isolation is the root cause for depression, mental illness and even suicide?!

Ok, my intention wasn’t to get all negative but to highlight the importance of us relating to other human beings. Our brains are truly remarkable. They have to deal with a lot of information, so they create shortcuts. As we grow up, we create various filters, which help us quickly analyse a large flow of information, to make decisions quickly. These filters are what we learn from our parents, friends, school, religion, country and our own unique set of personal experiences. They are the snap judgements that help us make sense of everything we encounter as we progress through life.

And so, back to first impressions. They are the result of our filters, a way that is necessary for us to survive. Now imagine you can use this information to make the right first impressions, if you know what your end goal is?! And this is where Purple Feather Tree comes in.

I’ve realised that I must create concise and useful information for women that can help them understand themselves better, express themselves better and feel truly confident to go after anything they wish!

What we already have and what we are developing is the basics that every woman must know. Yes, must know! Just like we learn to cook or we learn how to look after babies. This is just as basic and just as important. Every woman wants to feel beautiful, and too often we don’t because we believe what we hear in the media, in the magazines, from friends and strangers. We ignore our authentic self and try to fit the mould. Well, I say, no more! Each woman is special and unique, and her style must reflect that and support her dreams.

I absolutely love the products we have and those that we are creating right now. It started with style, accessories and image but it’s developing to include a lot more about psychology, philosophy, self-care and even esoteric subjects like numerology and astrology. This is because we’ve realised that to know one’s style is to know yourself, which could be a lifelong quest and could be forever changing.

And so, come with us on this journey of self-discovery and therefore, style-discovery! Turn the focus on YOU. Learn with us how to be your own best friend and support system.